Thursday, June 30, 2011

Overwhelmed!

I am finding more and more with D going to school, that I am the one who has to adapt to it way more than she does! You worry and worry that a child is going to find a new environment tough but children definitely are the better adapters anyday! This one is just a total vent vent vent entry - beware ye all who read further!

Getting up early - I still moan about this to one and all who would listen - I am NOT a morning person! I signed up for this with my eyes open, but still I am waiting for the day when I will stop complaining :). I have scary ideas of the future when not 1 but 2 children will be leaving home at 7 am - I will definitely be entirely grey-haired if not completely insane by that time.

Breakfast and Lunch Ideas - I hope I am doing decently in this area, but am dreading the day when D will be completely bored with the current options and I will have to come up with a completely new list! Because of her persistent problem with car sickness I also worry about what kind of food she can eat in the morning (limited to fruits at the moment) before going to school, so am keeping fingers crossed for that problem to settle down so she can have her usual morning glass of milk. Right now, I try to compensate with cheese on some days, and give her a tetrapack to drink with breakfast on others.

Getting stuff organized in advance - From uniforms to homework to miscellaneous stuff like covering of books, making sure that everything is ready the previous day wherever possible. I know that most other moms breeze through stuff like this, but not me! I am sometimes in a panic about getting clothes dry in time in this rainy season (my dryer doesn't help in this because of the material of the uniforms plus worrying about getting them worn out :( ) or even forgetting to pack the water bottle, and then rushing to the bus stop (hubby takes her usually) to get it to her before the bus leaves. Making a checklist helps (provided I remember to look at it!), but still don't feel confident about this stuff - don't know how long that takes!

Sooo many other items - like how to imbibe D with a sense of responsibility and ownership so she doesn't keep leaving stuff behind. She left her lunchbag behind at school (yet again) today and seemed so nonchalant (is that even an adjective I can use about a 6 year old!) that I just completely lost my cool all the way home from the bus stop, and for a couple of hours after reaching home. Just the sort of explosion I have wanted to avoid so much, and had atleast limited to the odd outburst now and then, but this was a full-blown tirade. I KNOW that when I'm just venting my frustration on her, it is very improbable that she's actually getting the message I want her to get, but when I am in the middle of it, I just had no control over it. Pencils and erasers I expected to replace, but lunchbags where I have to now figure out what dabbas to give her stuff for tomorrow just drives me crazy :(.
She had left her homework notebook behind at school the other day and so couldn't do her homework, and I spent the entire day worrying (felt like that anyway) if she would have got scolded for it. In general I have not completely accepted the fact that her world for the hours that she spends in school is completely out of my control. Being used to a scenario where school was 5 minutes away and I was able to pick up the phone and check how she was doing (obviously I didn't do this very often, but on days when she seemed to be upset or sick, I didn't feel out of control).

Hoping it gets easier as we go along, or how am I going to survive 12 years (15 if I count S's schooling!) of this :(

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Tag - 5 things motherhood taught me

Got tagged by Aparna to write about the five learnings from mommyhood - Thank you Aparna!

5 I thought?... Five?.. Out of all the millions of little things these are the biggest ones I could think of :).

1. The first thing I learnt after becoming a mom was about how unselfish I could become! I was an only child, and though not a terrible brat (atleast hopefully not ;)), never quite had to grasp the concept of putting anybody's feelings before my own. Until I had my first child of course :). I learnt that I could change from the kind of person who sleeps through a thunderstorm, to being awakened by the slightest noise my child makes. From being a career woman to being a SAHM. From being a wife, an individual to somehow being this MOM who is very much entangled in my children and mommyhood :).

2. About the Gender divide - I always used to think the gender stereotyping with girls and dolls Vs boys and cars is not appropriate, and encouraged my children to explore and play however they wanted. Though it is wonderful to see D's enthusiasm for Hot Wheels, and S's curiosity about Barbies, there are some things in which the two are just genetically different and there's no getting around that!! For example at age 2 similar conversations with D and S about the sharp edge of a drawer:

Me: It's dangerous to go under that baby, be careful ok?
D: Ok (And never again went that side).
but with
S: Silence (Which if I thought meant consent, definitely did not!). I turned the other side for a moment and find him sticking his head in there immediately. In fact until recently it was his favourite play zone while I would be holding my breath until he came out of there!

Correct me if I'm wrong other moms, maybe it's a 1st vs 2nd child thing too, but still lots and lots of stuff I find is not in my hands - they're just different!!

3. To get a hold of my patience - This is really a big problem category for me, and I am trying hard to learn to come to grips with it. I hope I have improved a little and have a loooot more to learn about how to be firm without screaming my head off :(.

4. To become nutritionally aware - I was a picky eater as a child, and faced a big challenge with my dear D who has been choosy from the word go about what she would open her mouth for! To transition from there, to her now at 6 years old finishing the food I send her to school, as well as doing a good job of eating at home is something I am really thankful for :). It was tough for me to try to figure out food groups and requirements for growing children - don't remember that sort of stuff having much importance when we were young - we seemed to grow like weeds eating something or the other!!

5. To get more organized - Do I have a choice on this ? :). I thought getting 2 children ready for school at 9 am was tough, but now that seems like an easy memory compared to getting one out the door at 6:45 am, with breakfast/lunch in some reasonably nutritious combination packed ! I am not looking forward to 3 years from now when both of them will need to be out at the same time (Food coupons - here I come !!).

I am pretty sure most mommy bloggers I read have already been tagged, but here go the ones I haven't read posts by, in case you haven't been tagged already:
Rohini
Garima
Life_Refactored - Fatherhood of course :) - waiting to hear all about the dad's point of view!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Sibling Conversations 1 - a sequel

Please read this one first if you haven't - Sibling Conversations - 1

This is from a couple of days later. I tell S to empty his bag - take out his snack box, water and keep them for wash near the kitchen sink. Much to my surprize he actually does it immediately (What is it about these tasks - kids take to them wonderfully when they are a novelty then within a few days will resist them like crazy ;) ). I can make a list starting from flushing the toilet to clearing up their room, but that was not the point of this post !

After a couple of minutes, I look for the napkin that I had sent along with his bag and it's missing.

Me: S, Did you put the napkin for wash?
S: No! I'm hanging it like a monkey - it's in the bathroom!!!

He had actually spread it out to dry along with the handwash napkins as it was a little damp :). I am of course all teary eyed and proud, and tell D all about how her brother has learnt such a nice thing from her !! In the hope that there will be more such knowledge transfers without my involvement of course ;).

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Off to school !

D joined her new school on 8th June (Wednesday), and we had decided to send her off in the school bus/van  from the first day itself, all the better for her to get used to the schedule. Little did I know, that I would be the one taking longer to adjust to this new way of things :(.

Having been used to dropping the kids off at school (the nearby one) until now, I felt strangely fidgety all day to not KNOW where she was at all times !! I kept thinking -"She must have finished breakfast", "Finished lunch" and so on and so forth - the entire day!! Thankfully the school sent us a message when the buses left in the afternoon, so I felt like I was getting some information about her atlast, and rushed off to the bus stop to wait for her return :).

Was wondering if the early start would make her feel very tired by the time she got back, but surprizingly she as well as all the kids from the stop seemed to be in quite good spirits :). Everyday she tells me small tidbits of what's happening, but overall seems to be having a nice, non-tense beginning to her big school life.

Some of her descriptions after the first 3 days -

When asked about her class teacher:
She's nice but sometimes quite strict amma, she scolds us when we talk too much !

When asked about other subject teachers and classes:

Sports Sir taught us to stand in a line today - we were all so tired after that, that I finished all my water :).

Maths ma'am was guessing some of our names (?), then we played games in the class.

Pottery is something she's really looking forward to - everyday she came back and reported "Today also no Pottery amma, maybe it'll be there on Monday!"

Wednesday, June 08, 2011

Sibling Conversations - 1


D: When the napkin is wet, you should hang it out like this ok (demonstrating how to) - so that it can dry

Me: Thinking - Wow it's nice to have an older sibling to teach this stuff so I don't have to tell him everything.

S: Monkeys only hang in the tree, not napkins!

Me: ROTFL !!!!!!

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Party Time !

The long pending birthday post is here :). I've been caught up with D's first day of school (today) which fingers crossed is going well - I find that I'm finding it very difficult to deal with the fact that she's off in the school bus at 7 am, and the next I'll see of her is at 2:30 or 3, with no idea of what's going on in between! Well nearly no idea, of course I know when she has her breaks and so on, but otherwise aaaaah the first few days are really going to be tougher for me than for her (I hope!). Ok ok getting to the birthday now!


This year we decided to do a small party at home as D's now old enough to have her own friends and had very decided ideas whom she wanted to call :). Of course this list was reduced a bit, as I told her I only wanted to invite people living in the same area else it gets tough to coordinate when you don't know the parents of the child personally and only your kids are friends (bad birthday experience couple of years back will always stay in my memory!).


She decided which cake she wanted, after going through the voluminous albums in the cake shop and of course negotiations with yours truly ;). I planned a couple of games trying to accomodate kids of all ages so simple stuff like Passing the parcel, Pinning the tail on the donkey (my masterpiece ;))! Food was kept simple and we were all set!
Side Note: Simple Sandwich recipe - chop cucumber and tomatoes finely, add mayonnaise and salt and use as a filling for wheat bread - Yum :).



Nearly everyone we had invited came and quite early too which was great. The donkey was a big success though overall we couldn't play too many games, as children and families came and went at slightly different times according to their schedules. But overall D was very happy and enjoyed everything which was what I was aiming for. 

Wednesday, June 01, 2011

And the time just flies !

My dear D turned 6 yesterday and I was reminiscing all day today as to how I or rather we as a family got to this place ...

6 and a half years ago I was a total high flying pregnant to-be-mom with a complete plan in place. 3 months of maternity leave + 2 months of accumulated leave (who ever took time off pre-kids!) and after 5 months I would be all set to go back to work. I even had a plan all worked out to work half-days for a couple of months before getting back to full time status! Had a full-time maid arranged who seemed competent enough - All Set or so I thought :).

And then SHE was born.. only a parent can understand that feeling when you look into your first-born's face.. and I just melted..!! The thought of this tiny bundle and her personality being molded by someone other than me or hubby just didn't seem to make sense any more.. had some thoughts of a one-year sabbatical, but I was advised that it's better to take a break and come back if and when I wanted to - which was the most sensible advice I ever got - because one year passed.. and I was the most content SAHM ever.. much to the surprize of many who knew me in my working years.. :).

Maybe it is to do with the fact that the kind of instant validation you get with parenting is not something you always see in your working life.. some amazing women manage both with panache.. but I was never a good multi-tasker and knew I would need all my patience in my home life else my child(ren) would face the brunt of it :).. In any case - after 6 years of parenthood I am sure of one thing - this is one decision I will never look back on with regret! Much thanks to hubby dear for being supportive of this decision from day 1 and all along :)

This post has become a senti one I see.. more birthday facts and photos in the next one :).