Overwhelmed!

I am finding more and more with D going to school, that I am the one who has to adapt to it way more than she does! You worry and worry that a child is going to find a new environment tough but children definitely are the better adapters anyday! This one is just a total vent vent vent entry - beware ye all who read further!

Getting up early - I still moan about this to one and all who would listen - I am NOT a morning person! I signed up for this with my eyes open, but still I am waiting for the day when I will stop complaining :). I have scary ideas of the future when not 1 but 2 children will be leaving home at 7 am - I will definitely be entirely grey-haired if not completely insane by that time.

Breakfast and Lunch Ideas - I hope I am doing decently in this area, but am dreading the day when D will be completely bored with the current options and I will have to come up with a completely new list! Because of her persistent problem with car sickness I also worry about what kind of food she can eat in the morning (limited to fruits at the moment) before going to school, so am keeping fingers crossed for that problem to settle down so she can have her usual morning glass of milk. Right now, I try to compensate with cheese on some days, and give her a tetrapack to drink with breakfast on others.

Getting stuff organized in advance - From uniforms to homework to miscellaneous stuff like covering of books, making sure that everything is ready the previous day wherever possible. I know that most other moms breeze through stuff like this, but not me! I am sometimes in a panic about getting clothes dry in time in this rainy season (my dryer doesn't help in this because of the material of the uniforms plus worrying about getting them worn out :( ) or even forgetting to pack the water bottle, and then rushing to the bus stop (hubby takes her usually) to get it to her before the bus leaves. Making a checklist helps (provided I remember to look at it!), but still don't feel confident about this stuff - don't know how long that takes!

Sooo many other items - like how to imbibe D with a sense of responsibility and ownership so she doesn't keep leaving stuff behind. She left her lunchbag behind at school (yet again) today and seemed so nonchalant (is that even an adjective I can use about a 6 year old!) that I just completely lost my cool all the way home from the bus stop, and for a couple of hours after reaching home. Just the sort of explosion I have wanted to avoid so much, and had atleast limited to the odd outburst now and then, but this was a full-blown tirade. I KNOW that when I'm just venting my frustration on her, it is very improbable that she's actually getting the message I want her to get, but when I am in the middle of it, I just had no control over it. Pencils and erasers I expected to replace, but lunchbags where I have to now figure out what dabbas to give her stuff for tomorrow just drives me crazy :(.
She had left her homework notebook behind at school the other day and so couldn't do her homework, and I spent the entire day worrying (felt like that anyway) if she would have got scolded for it. In general I have not completely accepted the fact that her world for the hours that she spends in school is completely out of my control. Being used to a scenario where school was 5 minutes away and I was able to pick up the phone and check how she was doing (obviously I didn't do this very often, but on days when she seemed to be upset or sick, I didn't feel out of control).

Hoping it gets easier as we go along, or how am I going to survive 12 years (15 if I count S's schooling!) of this :(

Tag - 5 things motherhood taught me

Got tagged by Aparna to write about the five learnings from mommyhood - Thank you Aparna!

5 I thought?... Five?.. Out of all the millions of little things these are the biggest ones I could think of :).

1. The first thing I learnt after becoming a mom was about how unselfish I could become! I was an only child, and though not a terrible brat (atleast hopefully not ;)), never quite had to grasp the concept of putting anybody's feelings before my own. Until I had my first child of course :). I learnt that I could change from the kind of person who sleeps through a thunderstorm, to being awakened by the slightest noise my child makes. From being a career woman to being a SAHM. From being a wife, an individual to somehow being this MOM who is very much entangled in my children and mommyhood :).

2. About the Gender divide - I always used to think the gender stereotyping with girls and dolls Vs boys and cars is not appropriate, and encouraged my children to explore and play however they wanted. Though it is wonderful to see D's enthusiasm for Hot Wheels, and S's curiosity about Barbies, there are some things in which the two are just genetically different and there's no getting around that!! For example at age 2 similar conversations with D and S about the sharp edge of a drawer:

Me: It's dangerous to go under that baby, be careful ok?
D: Ok (And never again went that side).
but with
S: Silence (Which if I thought meant consent, definitely did not!). I turned the other side for a moment and find him sticking his head in there immediately. In fact until recently it was his favourite play zone while I would be holding my breath until he came out of there!

Correct me if I'm wrong other moms, maybe it's a 1st vs 2nd child thing too, but still lots and lots of stuff I find is not in my hands - they're just different!!

3. To get a hold of my patience - This is really a big problem category for me, and I am trying hard to learn to come to grips with it. I hope I have improved a little and have a loooot more to learn about how to be firm without screaming my head off :(.

4. To become nutritionally aware - I was a picky eater as a child, and faced a big challenge with my dear D who has been choosy from the word go about what she would open her mouth for! To transition from there, to her now at 6 years old finishing the food I send her to school, as well as doing a good job of eating at home is something I am really thankful for :). It was tough for me to try to figure out food groups and requirements for growing children - don't remember that sort of stuff having much importance when we were young - we seemed to grow like weeds eating something or the other!!

5. To get more organized - Do I have a choice on this ? :). I thought getting 2 children ready for school at 9 am was tough, but now that seems like an easy memory compared to getting one out the door at 6:45 am, with breakfast/lunch in some reasonably nutritious combination packed ! I am not looking forward to 3 years from now when both of them will need to be out at the same time (Food coupons - here I come !!).

I am pretty sure most mommy bloggers I read have already been tagged, but here go the ones I haven't read posts by, in case you haven't been tagged already:
Rohini
Garima
Life_Refactored - Fatherhood of course :) - waiting to hear all about the dad's point of view!