As I continued to read The Happiness Project, one of
the most significant things to catch my eye was the mention of
"Mindfulness". The author wrote about driving a car to a destination,
and on reaching there, realizing that she had no memory of the route she took
to get there. When meeting people for the first time, she didn't have a memory
of most details she might have heard about them. And so on. That was my Aha
moment! When I used to drive to work everyday, there were days when I would be
at my workplace 8 km away with no memory of driving any part of the route. I
also have an abysmal memory for names and details, and have to keep asking
folks where I might know them from! Putting it down to a bad memory though
didn't seem to cut it, as I could remember many other things well enough!
It struck me that this lack of mindfulness is the
reason that I sometimes drop things, cut my fingers while chopping veggies, and
often feel stressed when I'm doing something. That's because even for
the most mundane activity, my mind is still racing on at 100 miles a second
thinking of a zillion other things to be done or that I should be doing at that
point of time! Do I hear a small voice saying “Get organized!” – yes yes that’s
coming too but I get to choose which habit I adopt first ;). So as a small change for February, and hopefully
forever after, I have picked to be mindful of whatever I am doing at that
moment. I have been trying it already for the last few weeks, and it takes some doing! Especially while chopping veggies, my fingers are very thankful that I have started being more mindful ;).
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Parenting is a big part of my life and mindfulness is
even more important where the kids are concerned. Giving them my full attention
when I am with them is something I have read about in many parenting
articles now, as I'm sure you have too ;). I do try very hard to do this, but some chore or deadline
always looms large and it is just so easy to listen or respond with half your
mind and plan or do something else at the same time. As a part of this habit,
of my own Happiness Project you might say, I hereby decide that even if it is just
a half hour in a day that I am spending focused time with the kids, it shall be
100% of my attention.
Note: I had heard the term "mindfulness" in the context of a type of meditation or therapy, which is a surefire indication that I might go to sleep in the middle of it. It was such a great coincidence that a friend mentioned this resource on her FB timeline, as I was in the process of writing this post. I am definitely going to check out www.headspace.com as a part of my mindfulness journey.
'Mindfulness' - Perhaps a phrase that I need to incorporate a lot more into my vocabulary :) I have trouble with concentration and often flit back and forth between stuff. And most of all, my writing suffers because of that. Or actually most things I try to do. Maybe I should be 'mindful' of the task at hand and then cancel all distractions. Interesting post, Aparna.
ReplyDeleteThanks for dropping in and for sharing your view Sid. I am so irregular in the blogosphere now that I've not caught up on any of your recent posts, will do that soon!
DeleteI have been hearing this from you for a while now. Really itching to get to that chapter but will wend my way there slowly. For now, the happiness quotient is working well and my other commitments are keeping the status quo. As for you, I think you underestimate yourself too often. You are also one of the most mindfully engaged in FB discussions that I know of. Enjoy this phase and may it be an eternal one :)
ReplyDeleteWe haven't discussed the book in a while. I'm sure you might have got to that chapter by now Shailaja, as I'm so late replying to your comment ;)
DeleteSomething even I need to adopt. I guess it is our wish to do everything perfectly and please everyone that results in chaos within the mind. For example, in my case I want to keep everyone happy. And thus I end up disappointing almost everyone. In short, there seems to be a panchavadhyam happening inside my head.
ReplyDeleteLOL Panchavadyam is a good way of putting it :). So much background music going on in our heads all the time, and I found it's not doing me any good. Time to turn off that volume or at least reduce it. Thanks for dropping in and commenting Rekha :).
DeleteI find myself doing that all the time! I call it flying through life with my head firmly planted up my ass. Really no excuse for it, just seems to be the way I roll these days although i am certainly trying to do better! ♥
ReplyDeleteLOL Kathy, that's one way of describing it ;). I do make it work most of the time, but sometimes it all just gets to me. So, time for some mindfulness, at least some of the time :D. Thanks for dropping in and commenting!
DeleteMindfulness is something that I have been aspiring to achieve more often since last year. Yes, it works. I have incorporated it in small ways. And you know, Aparna, meditation actually energizes and relaxes. It won't put you to sleep. :)
ReplyDeleteYes, I've heard that Rachna, but somehow not able to wrap my head around it yet. Mindfulness definitely has made a difference to me too, the little that I've tried it out :). Thanks for dropping in and commenting!
DeleteDon't take so much pressure...Just let things be for a while and everything will fit like the pieces of a puzzle...It happens you know...there is so much to do but so little time, what can one do ryt?
ReplyDeleteThanks for dropping in and commenting Naba :). I do usually let things be, but sometimes that can backfire so I'm trying other strategies ;). Will let you know how it goes!
DeleteThat's so required Aparna. The 100% time we give to a task is far more productive than any less. And with kids, 100% is only way to give quality time. I am in the same boat..and many times have to consciously drag myself back to the present. All the best ! Btw, if you have forgotten, the name's Asha ;)
ReplyDeleteAsha, there's no way I could forget you or your writing! Yes, absolutely agree that 100% at a few things is satisfying than 40% at a zillion things :).
DeleteMakes a lot of sense Aparna. That bit about meeting people and not remembering anything about them is so true for me. Even when I'm doing something as simple as writing a blogpost, I often have four or five tabs open (I have 6 open even now!) and I flit between pages crazily making the blogpost take ages. Giving anything your full concentration is the key I guess! Need to remember that.
ReplyDeleteThanks Tulika, I've been trying to follow it as much as I can. Succeeded in the cutting veggies area at least ;), no more chopped fingers after that.
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