ME time!

Whatever your style of parenting, all of us need a recharge now and again. Popularly known nowadays as ME time :). Here's how I go about it:

Set expectations early: From the time they were very young, my kids know that Amma sometimes needs her own time either with a book, or her laptop :P, and it's better to not disturb her at those times as you won't get a straight answer anyway. I think it helps to establish boundaries and not be at the beck and call of your darlings or they might grow to expect that behaviour as they grow up too ;).

Leave the familiar areas: Sometimes the only way to be alone with myself is to actually leave home and find something else to do - whether reading a book or going for a walk in the park, or visiting the neighbourhood beauty salon - a couple of hours of doing what you want or just pampering yourself does wonders! My Yoga class counts as ME time too ;).

Meet friends: I went through the usual route in FB - you come across someone you used to know well, you say hiiii we musssst meet, and then of course it never happens. With new friends and old, I think I've met a lot more in 2012 than in the previous few years. The best way is to have no expectations, just try to spontaneously set something up :). It helps that I have willing babysitters in my parents, so my coffees and lunches can be my own space.

Give time to what you love: For me it's usually gardening, for you it might be something else - makes me feel so at peace to be among my plants, it's like a complete recharge even if I've had a physically or mentally trying day. And especially with my plants, I don't even have to be alone - my kids come along sometimes to help water - it still qualifies as ME time just for the joy it gives me.

Some other attempts such as leaving the kids with their grandparents in Chennai for a couple of weeks don't seem to meet my purpose completely as I spend too much time thinking/wondering about them for it to qualify completely as ME time :O!

So what do you do for that much needed ME time? Do share your thoughts and tips too!

Posted for Week 4 theme post of the Marathon Bloggers 52 week challenge in 2013.

How to teach your kids to be independent ;)

Does anyone out there feel like kids nowadays seem to get coddled and protected a whole lot more than we used to? I know I am guilty of this behaviour too, for example, I refuse to let my kids go "out" on the road in front of home - I have no trust in their road sense, and especially no trust in the driving sense of those on the road (Ok that's a whole new post, in fact I wrote one a while back about road rules)!!

In wondering about what all we can do to make our kids more confident and independent, I realized I'm already doing a little bit, here goes:

1. D has been having her own bath since she was less than 5 years old. Started out not so efficient of course, but in a few months she started doing a very good job of it! My present task at 7 years, is to see if that shampoo wash can also be shifted off my shoulders ;).
2. S insisted on having his bath nearly from the time he was 4, thanks to seeing his older sis do it. I protested initially, but then decided to try it out. So this means that some patches don't get washed on a daily basis, and I also get a call of "Amma! Has the soap gone from my back?" everyday, but I can live with that.
3. I refuse to "do" any of my kid's homework, definitely not writing anything for them and even to the extent of not telling them any answers that they can work out for themselves. The occasional distress call for Hindi homework by D has to be answered though I try to push it to the limit by making her come up with as many words as possible before helping out.
4. In the hope of teaching them to clean up, I will remind them 10 times(10th at the top of my voice of course!) but not put away their stuff myself. Of course hubby says I don't set a very good example as I don't put away even my own stuff, but that's a whole different story ;).
5. D & S both started wearing their own clothes as early as they were able to, and now D's clothes are at her level so she can choose them herself. The part about not pulling out the one at the bottom of the pile to lead to an avalanche, she is yet to learn :). And I learnt how difficult it was to try to teach kids to wear underwear that doesn't have a design on the front of it - S holds it up and checks with me every time I give him one of these - "Is this correct?" - before putting it on.
6. The eating category is a bit more of a challenge, with D starting to eat on her own around 4 years - she used to spend hours at it, but now she's quite a pro! S is definitely leading us more of a dance, with his response to "Let's see who finishes first!" being "I can't eat SO fast!" and opting out of the competition in the first place ;).

Hehehe.. so you see the trend - more independent kids -> More "ME" time ;). Any more "how to make them independent" ideas out there, do leave a comment and let me know!