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Sunday, March 15, 2015

Stepping Into the Unknown #startanewlife

I used to be a techie. Yes. I always say "used to" when I tell somebody this, because for me it feels as good as a past life and very very far away from my present. When I occasionally meet ex-colleagues, they often tell me "I never imagined YOU would make this move!". I was very happy at my workplace, competent at my work, on the way to a reasonable amount of recognition and raises and all that comes with it.

Even when I got pregnant, I planned it as a seamless "short" break from my work. I would take my maternity leave, add a couple of months of annual leave, and come back part time for a couple more months before getting back for good. The scene was set - I had a workforce in place at home as well. And I don't use that term in jest - part-time maid, full-time help for babycare, driver - everyone was trained in their role and ready to take over when I needed them to. My parents also were close by to oversee things when I wasn't around.

My little one decided to come out only at her own pace, so it was the full term of 40 weeks plus a couple of days when I first saw her face. The first weeks were a blur, full of bawling and feeding and cleaning up and need I mention - a lack of sleep like I never could have imagined! And before I knew it, my 5 months were up - it was time to get back to work.

And then it happened. I looked at her face. REALLY looked at it. It might have helped the mood that it was a peaceful moment, and she was well fed and burped and content at the time ;). But it finally struck me - I couldn't do it. I just couldn't go back to work as planned! It was like a switch turned on in my mind - I was completely at peace with my decision as well. It was funny to think back to the days when I was worried if I had a maternal instinct :).

It was time to move to a new phase of life. Thanks to a supportive family who never raised the slightest bit of doubt about my decision, I could #startanewlife and a very happy and content one at that. Three years after that, my second one came along and cemented my decision further - D is now nearly 10, and S just turned 7 a few days ago :). Along the way, I've moved from Stay-at-Home-Mom to a Work-from-Home Freelance Writer, and of course I also play many other roles including exam-prep-helper, preparer-of-tiffin-boxes, awaiter-at-bus-stops and answerer-to-all-questions. But I wouldn't have it any other way :).

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  1. I just love this post, because it reflects so much of what I went through. Although I never worked full-time, I did enjoy working. But transitioning to my role (which again is very similar to yours) came without any ambivalence. Sigh, if only people would stop pointing fingers though at those of us who do this and mind their own lives. Proud of you for this post, my dear :)

    1. Thanks a lot, Shailaja :). I know a lot of folks would identify with this transition, whether it came easy or not to them. You and I, our life experiences have been different, yet similar, bringing us to a eerily common situations in our lives.

  2. Aparna, haven't we all been through this drill? A special toast to our wonderful spouses and families. Glad to read your story and that everything worked out so well.

  3. Lovely post, Aparna. And hat's off for being able to make the smooth transition and the fact that you had a supportive family. More power to you, Apster.

  4. That's great that you listened to your heart and heeded the call: good for you! More people should (ideally) follow suit! :) <3

  5. You just know it, don't you? You know it when you have to make the change and as long as you are at peace with the decision nothing really matters

  6. How we move seamlessly from one role to another, or so it seems! And, we are truly lucky to have supportive families who stand by us even when we doubt our own decisions..lovely post, Aparna!

  7. A verynice post. Aparna, you ae lucky that your family supported you . I have seen families who compelled their DIL to abort the child so that their income is not affected.

  8. Literally a deja vu! But it is still so important that you do not forget yourself as an individual, when become a mother :)

  9. Just realized that I hadn't responded to so many of your comments, I'm really sorry about that! Comes out of slowing down on blogging overall, and not reading even my own posts :(. Thanks so much for dropping in and commenting, I really appreciate it!