This is NOT a resolutions post ;). I seem to have done a few of those over the years, and find that nothing much has changed from what I wanted in the last couple of years. I've made some progress and there's still quite a way to go. But there's something about a new year that spurs one to make SOME change, so here goes.
Facebook let me know this morning that my friends have liked my post 68,000 times. Definitely a "feel-good" piece of info :).
But in fact, 2017 was a year when I consciously moved away from social media, especially FB. It was in my effort to find a balance between sharing my thoughts and wondering if it was validation-seeking. I think though, that I ended up too much in the other direction and hardly ever posted at all. It was especially around the new year when I saw a timeline filled with posts from people I know.. and it set me thinking afresh.. why don't I post anything much nowadays? Whether on social media or on the blog, I seem to have a block of sorts.
I know it started with posting less pictures of the kids online due to safety concerns.. and then considering very carefully every one of the memories before putting them down on the blog.. wondering if I'm invading their privacy in some way by doing it.. and just over-thinking in general. I have always been more of a literal/narrative writer rather than a creative one, and I was losing my main writing material :).
I went over some of my old posts and had to marvel at the person/writer I was then, that I could just put out my thoughts and memories so easily, and had to wonder what has changed since then. I think all bloggers start off writing with a level of ease, because at that point it's not about who might be reading and how the readers might react, but just about sharing. As social media entered the picture, I was thrilled to be able to broadcast my writing, but it also brought with it the worry of what folks might think or how they might react. I know that I have hardly ever written on controversial subjects, and this worry might sound slightly irrational, (as most of my friends have been nothing much encouraging!), but we just seem to live in a world where the simplest statements could start arguments or need proof. It left me feeling like if I posted anything at all, I needed to make sure I had the energy to stand up for it ;).
I have tried my best to use social media in a controlled way, especially in the last 2-3 years, but it has definitely been a tussle about how much to share. Reading all the discussions and articles about how sanitised or airbrushed a view of our lives we put up on FB only set me thinking some more :P. But then I recognised that each person's attitude or relationship with social media is a personal thing, it's not something you can figure out from reading about other's experiences. If I'm feeling low*, seeing happy posts usually brings a smile and makes me hopeful. At other times, I'm just glad to be able to know what people are up to, without needing to actually "stay in touch" :). So in 2018, I hope to reconfigure my sharing and find that elusive balance. Starting with more blog posts ;).. so wish me luck.
*If I'm really in a super-low or black mood, I usually stay away from social media altogether.
Facebook let me know this morning that my friends have liked my post 68,000 times. Definitely a "feel-good" piece of info :).
But in fact, 2017 was a year when I consciously moved away from social media, especially FB. It was in my effort to find a balance between sharing my thoughts and wondering if it was validation-seeking. I think though, that I ended up too much in the other direction and hardly ever posted at all. It was especially around the new year when I saw a timeline filled with posts from people I know.. and it set me thinking afresh.. why don't I post anything much nowadays? Whether on social media or on the blog, I seem to have a block of sorts.
I know it started with posting less pictures of the kids online due to safety concerns.. and then considering very carefully every one of the memories before putting them down on the blog.. wondering if I'm invading their privacy in some way by doing it.. and just over-thinking in general. I have always been more of a literal/narrative writer rather than a creative one, and I was losing my main writing material :).
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| Patterns and perspectives.. nobody sees it just like you do |
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| Balance and peace in other parts of life would be good too :) |
*If I'm really in a super-low or black mood, I usually stay away from social media altogether.
Trust you to put it all down exactly as you feel :) That should never change, Apu and you know that.
ReplyDeleteYou're right about the wondering how people will react bit that seems to be so rampant these days, not just on social media, of course. I generally stay away from contentious topics, as you know. Like you say, finding that balance is important.
I also believe that there comes a time when you will be able to write as freely as you did before the advent of social media. And the best part? You will be able to share it on social media without worrying about what people think.
I know this. And of course, we've had our detailed WA discussions as proof of that.
(Come to think of it, between us, we must have written enough to fill a book. Want to co-author a book in 2018? ;)
Yes, trying to reconfigure my thinking to those days :)..
DeleteAnd a SM self-help book should sell like hot cakes :P.. you're on ;).
Thanks for the thoughtful comment as usual babe <3
I can understand how you feel. My relationship with social media has transformed a lot over the past couple of years. Like you said, I am okay to see bits of people's lives without feeling the need to stay in touch. I have almost done away with sharing personal things on FB starting with family pictures and then my views. I have a lot of them but have come across needless arguments and bad blood that has made me wary now. Frankly, today social media for me is a way to broadcast my blog updates and small milestones. I still do share my thoughts and views but much less. That way I like Insta and twitter more than FB now. Good to see you blogging now. I enjoy our interaction on twitter and Insta especially fitness related. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Rachna, I agree that using SM for broadcasting is the smartest way of keeping it under control and I know you are seasoned at it :). I always look forward to your posts, especially the fitness ones as they resonate with me a lot.
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ReplyDeleteFirst up, I'm glad you've decided to be around more often. I have a continuous up and down equation with social media. There are days when I share pretty regularly and then there are days I find it all annoying and stop posting completely.
ReplyDeleteThe sad thing is blogging as we know it doesn't exist any longer - when people wrote what they felt and the primary objective was starting and sharing a conversation. Sigh! What you said about being conscious of 'who will think what' worries me too and like you said, it's weird because I don't even write 'controversial' stuff.
We need more people like you around. Looking forward t your posts and presence on social media this year.
Thanks so much Tulika, I'm sorry I just realised that I missed responding to your comment. I love the ease with which you share some of your experiences as a parent, it always makes me hopeful to get better at it :).
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