This one's been lying in my drafts for a few weeks now, so I thought it was high time it saw the light of day.
It started with this post I came across on Facebook, and also shared on my timeline to much discussion :)
https://www.facebook.com/apster.george/posts/10151481637494164?notif_t=like
Soon after that I visited the Orange Rhino page and read many more of her blog posts. I just felt a big connection to her writing, and her straightforwardness in expressing her shortcomings. I was nodding my head to so much of the stuff she said, such as this Ode to the Moms I shall never be. I also liked the fact that she set realistic goals, and encourages everyone to do the same. It's not about taking it on for a year like her, you can try a week, a month or even not count at all if that works better for you.
She had a recent 30 day challenge, not so much a no-yelling challenge as a preparation on how to start the journey. Well I read the emails, agreed to everything but somehow feel an inertia to just say "Here I am, starting off now!". Still pretty much at the introspection stage and wondering how to go about it, but here are some thoughts.
It started with this post I came across on Facebook, and also shared on my timeline to much discussion :)
https://www.facebook.com/apster.george/posts/10151481637494164?notif_t=like
Soon after that I visited the Orange Rhino page and read many more of her blog posts. I just felt a big connection to her writing, and her straightforwardness in expressing her shortcomings. I was nodding my head to so much of the stuff she said, such as this Ode to the Moms I shall never be. I also liked the fact that she set realistic goals, and encourages everyone to do the same. It's not about taking it on for a year like her, you can try a week, a month or even not count at all if that works better for you.
She had a recent 30 day challenge, not so much a no-yelling challenge as a preparation on how to start the journey. Well I read the emails, agreed to everything but somehow feel an inertia to just say "Here I am, starting off now!". Still pretty much at the introspection stage and wondering how to go about it, but here are some thoughts.
- There are degrees of yelling, and I don't consider just raising my voice as a bad thing to do. It is only the times when I feel hyperventilated, blood rushing to my head that I know it's crossed the line, at least in my eyes.
- No yelling does NOT mean no disciplining. As a generation of parents, I think we (and by that I mean many others ;)) let our kids get away with a little too much. Kids will be kids, yes, but there are absolute no-nos and basic behavioural stuff that I will not condone. In such situations, if some degree of yelling is called for (again not the type mentioned above), so be it.
- In most situations where the worst type of yelling happens, there is nearly ALWAYS a secondary reason involved - a headache, a missed deadline, a fight with the better half. So most times it is a question of stopping and thinking, now if only I can remember that an instant before the yell!
- Involving the kids can be embarrassing (Ma, but you said no yelling!) but effective I think, so that's definitely in my plan.
Can't delay the inevitable much more, so here goes. Announcing to the blogosphere and my friends and family reading this, that tomorrow shall be Day 1. I'm sure many updates shall be coming up on "restarted" Day 1s so watch this space ;).
A very thought provoking post!
ReplyDeleteGot me introspecting, while yelling, I must say! Like you said, the worst kind of yelling happens, when there is a secondary reason involved. This happens so often in my case. Fatigue, hunger, a run-in with with some one, often results in near zero patience with kids and I end up flaring up unintentionally on them, only to feel so-o guilty!
I swore to myself to take up a month long challenge too! And to inspire and remind me to do that, told my 6-year old about it too! She loves you for the idea! Am soon gonna post. Let’s see how it goes.
All the best with yours! Am sure, you can do it!
Thanks so much Scattered Mama, for dropping in and leaving your thoughts. This is a topic I've been tussling with for a while, have been reading the Orange Rhino stuff for quite a while too but was scared to get into it. As expected, I have already reset that counter once, let's see how long it takes me to get to 30 days.
DeleteAll the best, and hope to hear more about your challenge too :)
hey do you remember me from BMC? i posted there as if I am taking up the 1-day challenge, but never been able to do so till now... :P
ReplyDeleteAnother technique is to be with grandparents or in-laws or elders... You will not or rather cannot be mad at the children because they are not yours alone anymore... :) I am waiting for the threesome(me, him and daughter) family to be back to start this challenge..
Hey archonline,
DeleteSo sorry for this late reply, my blog has been a bit neglected in the past couple of weeks. Don't remind me about taking up this challenge. I gave up on about Day 3 and then haven't got back to it yet :P
It's useful in the sense that I keep reminding myself about it, but to stay yell-less is still unattainable :(. All the best to you too, hope we can get there sometime soon!
Well, how is this one going? Going strong? I did read about the Orange Rhino challenge a long long time back and bookmarked it to follow someday soon, but that someday never came :( In my case, the yelling has gone down a lot over the last few years but it does rear it's ugly head every now and then.
ReplyDeleteNo such luck Simran, only lasted 3 days :(. I am a lot more conscious about it, but not taking up that challenge anytime soon it seems like!
DeleteOh what happened? (read the previous comment/reply)...did u continue this or gave up? NOOOOO!!!
ReplyDeleteStill in the given up status Aparna :(... somehow illness and trying to keep my temper don't go well though I know that shouldn't make a difference! Feeling better now though, so probably should try again!!
Delete